Stress = bad eating....

So the last few days I have been struggling.... I mean struggling bad! I have had like 1 good day and 3 bad days. One day I had the brilliant idea that I would workout 3 hours without a planned meal before or after! Well guess what happened....after an amazing workout...I told myself, you can go to this buffet and only eat the things that are good for you, and stop when you are full.... Well guess what! I ate way to much and even had dessert. So I decided that day would be my cheat day... That would have been fine if 2 days before that I wouldn't have already had my cheat day. It wasn't planned that day either. My son had to have some stuff done at the hospital and I let my nerves take over my brain! Then yesterday I learned that a dear friend of mine passed away, and again my nerves took over and I comforted myself with food! 

Now with the last week behind me, today starts a whole new week. A clean slate for me and my body. Today I decided I am going to work super hard on controlling my brain. Your brain is such a bully if you let it be. It will tell you that you can't do things and that you aren't strong enough. So today I am going to try and teach my brain to be as strong as wonder woman's brain. I hope to have a much better week, and keep my brain from being weak..... 

Planning....is super important

So over the last few days I have realized that it is so important to be successful in anything you MUST have a plan. I mean sure with my job I have known this for a very long time! When it comes to eating right this is a must. If you don't have a plan you are setting yourself up for failure.


Last night I knew I wouldn't be able to eat anything healthy, because I would be taking my son to his first concert. I planned ahead and ate dinner right before leaving work. I then even went to the extra step taking peanuts with me, just in case!


Turns out the whole blogging is really helping me to do a lot better with my sugar cravings. Not perfect by any means but doing WAY better than I was before!!!!! 


As far as a plan goes just thought I would share a funny story.... At RHEK (the place I workout) I have taken several self defense classes and they teach us not only how to protect ourselves but also how to mentally prepare ourselves to look for warning signs....well last night at the concert the very first thing I did was scope the place out! I was locating the exits and scanning the people looking to see if there were any "shady" people near us...making plans just in case! Gotta love such amazing teachers! They are like little guardian angels on your shoulder, even when they aren't with you!!! 

It is well worth the wait....

Today like any other Saturday I worked out at 8am, went grocery shopping, cooked my food for work and went to work my 10 hour shift. Today was so strange for me. I am not like most girls I don't like attention from people. My goal is to stay under the radar with people. Well today for some reason people, and by people I mean several different random strangers told me, I was pretty, they like my hair, they like my nails. It was really weird! I also saw a few old friends and they went on about how different I look. They say I look like a completely different person.  When I look in the mirror I still see myself as I always have.  

I can't say THANKS enough to ALL of the people who have helped me get where I am in my life right now, as well as ALL of the people who have noticed that all of my hard work is paying off. So next time I get a craving for Rasinets or cookies... I am going to think about just how great it made me feel today that everyone noticed that I am working really hard to reach my goal weight as well as my goal of being "fit".....

2 highlights of this week...

1. One of my trainers handed my a 55lb weight and made me hold it while he was explaining our workout and I was like ...WHY AM I HOLDING THIS????? He said that is close to what you have lost, just think you used to carry that much extra weight! Man am I glad that weight is GONE!!! 

2. Wednesday in my sparology class I learned so much physically and mentally. I can't express to anyone how much this class is teaching me! 

Not a complete failure....

So here we are almost a week later and I have done a great job! Yesterday was my cheat day....with that being said I did indulge..... I had a cookie and rasinets! Funny truth they weren't nearly as good as they were a week before.

My last post was about working where I walk past delicious candy and ice cream a million times a day. Well I also must tell you that the food that my co-workers bring to work sometimes makes me wanna cry! Yeah I am talking about you....the one with the strawberry banana smoothie! lol I know he reads this so I had to put that. I     wanted his smoothie really bad that day.... I am doing a lot better and not even really craving sugar nearly as much. I hope to eventually not even want to have it on my cheat day. That was how it was at first. I went over 90 days without sugar and bread, one day I decided to have it again....look what happened I fell into a pit of sugar! Well for now the skinny girl dreams are beating the fat girl voice....

I feel like the little engine....

I think I can, I think I can.....

So I just figured out that I really wish I would have known everything I know about food before my son was born 9 years ago. Of course I didn't so he eats whatever he wants. With that being said he is the reason we have cookies and ice cream sandwiches at home, because I can't tell him no. He has been eating however he wanted since he was old enough to talk.He is currently trying to eat better simply because he sees me doing so well.  Even without me letting him eat bad I am surrounded by junk food at work. We sell ice cream, candy and popcorn. The popcorn ....yeah not even a challenge because I hate it! The rasinets are by far the hardest to resist even though they cost $4.00. 

I decided I would not go into the kitchen after 10pm for any reason. I close the kitchen. The main reason I decided this is because that is normally when I find myself trying to find sugar! 

But on a positive note I made it through day 2!    

Day 1 complete!

Thanks so much for all of the support! WOW! I really didn't think that anyone would read it. I truly think working out first thing in the morning helps me a lot to stay away from sugar. I did't even think about sugar until late last night. My workouts were AMAZING yesterday. We had a new teacher for my morning fitness class and she kicked my tail...and then for my night class it's called sparology and it was FANTASTIC!!! It used to be all men and last night it was 50/50 the teacher really likes that more women are stepping out of their comfort zone. He has taught me that you grow so much as a person if you take those dreaded steps outside your comfort zone! 


I decided that each day will start with a workout even if I can't make it to RHEK. I can do some things a home. Even though I am not nearly as motivated without being there. I figure even on my "rest" days I will do some sort of workout. In order to help me not crave sugar as much. On a side note the week before I started this I had the worst time ever with my eating. I mean one night I was so hungry I ate spaghetti sauce right out of the jar.....I know that sounds crazy! That was the day before I ate 3 ice cream sandwiches in one day. Now I am back on track and when I weighed I was down 4lbs. So I just decided to let that week be what it is just a week in my past. Sometimes I have a really bad habit of being like...OMG I messed up now I should just give up and stay like this forever....but that's just the fat girl voice trying to suffocated my skinny girl dreams! 

A little of who I am...

Well I feel pretty certain very few people will ever read this blog. With that being said I am not looking for fame or popularity from my blog.... fyi...the junk food addiction was spelled wrong on purpose all good names were unavailable! 


In October of 2010 I began a journey that would change my life forever. I joined a great place called RHEK. That stands for Ryan Hoover's Extreme Karate. One of my best friends called and said "hey you wanna take kick boxing with me?" I said sure, I know of this place. Well she went a few times and never came back. Since then I have brought more than 10 people....all but 1 never come back! Reasons why....1. It cost to much. 2. It is to far to drive. 3. I don't have enough time. 4. It was to hard. Well some people say I became obsessed with it. I would agree to a certain level. The classes are really fun and very self rewarding. To date I have lost over 60lbs and I no longer have Type 2 diabetes. Much of my success comes from my trainers helping me believe in myself. They are so very supportive. They answer emails and text messages almost instantly. They help me with workouts, personal issues and most importantly diet questions. 

My current struggle is junk food addiction. That was the whole reason I decided  to start a blog. Thinking to myself that if just one person reads this I will hold myself accountable. My whole life style change has been a slow one. It started very slow with just keeping a journal. I remember in the early stages being so upset by eating a candy bar, even putting a sad face beside it. Next I added protein shakes. Then cut out the fried food! Then cut out carbs.... Then in January of this year I am trying me best to cut out sugar. Sugar is sugar so no fruits either. Did you know that your body has no idea if you eat a banana or a snicker bar! I did a really good job until my 90 day challenge was over. Since then I find myself eating Rasinets or subway cookies 3 or 4 times a week. I have a cheat day but that has turned into a cheat week almost. At 200 calories for each cookie (shocked yesterday by that) I am cheating myself. I workout 5 days a week. When I say workout I mean like hardcore crazy sweat and major calorie burning stuff! So tell me why my brain is trying to sabotage what I have been working so hard to accomplish? So starting in the morning I plan on blogging everyday just to track my "problem"..... I really hope this turns into the success story of a once "fat girl."